My mother brought me to church when I was 6 weeks old and I have never been "out of church". My grandfather was an Independent Baptist preacher but died 3 years before I was born and my mother raised me Independent Baptist. Even though I never met my grandfather, I have always felt some sort of closeness to him I guess because of him being a preacher.
My father is unsaved and I pray daily for his salvation. He thought he was saved when he was a child because several of his friends went up to the front when there was an altar call and he went too and professed to be saved, but wasnít really. Years later, he realized he was not saved and now believes God will not save him.
When I was around 11 years old, I was constantly searching for how to be saved. I had always asked my mother "How do you know when you are saved?" And she said "you will feel it in your heart." I took this literally and one Sunday afternoon, I had chest pain and asked her if I was saved because I felt something in my heart. Of course this wasnít the case. I searched the Bible and a book my late grandfather (the one that was the Baptist preacher) had given my mother called "Hereís Your Answer". It had many questions that people ask about the Bible. I had still never found the answer I was looking for on how exactly to be saved, I guess because it was so very simple.
When I was 13, on a Saturday afternoon, around 2 p.m. on December 13, 1986, a preacher at a church I didnít go to, but had went to Bible school there since I was little, came to my house and asked me if I wanted to be saved. I am sure he knew I wasnít saved because at Bible school every year when they would have the altar call, they would ask the ones saved to raise their hands and the ones that didnít know or that were not saved to raise their hands. I wouldnít raise my hand either time. I was really embarrassed and didnít want to raise my hand either way for fear that everyone would know and I didnít want to have to go up in front of all those kids.
Anyway, on the day the preacher came to my house, I said yes I wanted to be saved and that I believed that he died on a cross for my sins and was resurrected and I prayed and asked Jesus into my heart and to forgive me of my sins. The next Sunday I was baptized at the church we regularly attended. About a year or so later we moved our membership to the church where the pastor had came to my house to tell me how to be saved.
I have always went to church, but I knew that going to church since I was a baby wasnít going to get me into heaven. I had a very strict father growing up and he had a really bad temper. Before I was saved I hated him and wished that he and my mother would get divorced. I knew that he wasnít saved and that he would go to hell when he died. In a way it made me glad. When I became saved, my heart was changed and I no longer hated him.
We are really close now, but he will not listen to me or my mother concerning the gospel. He says I am brain-washed. I have a left-behind letter and several Bibles for him during the Tribulation. I pray that he will be saved before that happens, but since I do not know when the Rapture will take place, if he is left here during the Tribulation, maybe he will read the information I have left for him and be saved. For now I can only pray for his salvation. Family members are sometimes the hardest people to reach for Christ.
I have a real enthusiasm for Bible prophecy. My favorite book of the Bible has always been Revelations. I read it even before becoming saved. Now I have learned more about prophecy concerning the end times and enjoy Isaiah and Daniel as well. In March 2001 I started reading the Old Testament from beginning and hope to finish the end pretty soon. I never really understood the Old Testament and thought that all there was in it was "begats", but since I have found so many different end times prophecies in it I had to read it from beginning to end.
I strive to get closer each day to the Lord and to walk with him. Reading the Bible at least twice each day and having a continual daily prayer time has tremendously helped. I also listen to Southern Gospel and some Contemporary Christian music. I am not real good at witnessing to people, usually what I say comes out the wrong way. I hope to get better at it.
I know that my story isnít very exciting because I was saved at home on my living room floor, but there is a time that I know that I accepted Jesus as my Savior and if you havenít done the same, you really do need to TODAY! The Bible says "Boast not thy self of tomorrow, for thou knowest not what a day may bring forth." There is a real possibility that by the end of today your body could be laid out for viewing in the local funeral home. Then it would be too late for you to be saved.
Please accept Jesus Christ as your Savior today.
Revelations 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
|Speedy (a.k.a MJ)||
I grew up in a very small town of about 600 people and was raised in a Christian home. Our home was never quiet and we went to church every time the doors were open. My family always had different missionaries and special speakers staying at our home. I thought that going to church is how you get into heaven. At age 4, I thought that is how I would get into heaven by going to church, being a "good girl" and by doing works. I never really believed or accepted Christ as Savior until much later. Through my childhood I was very depressed and didn't talk to anyone. I really didn't understand what was going on like I do today. Everybody in my hometown knew everybody else's business.
Back in the 50's and 60's they never talked about "gay" and that it was wrong. In fact, they never talked about sex and that we shouldn't let people touch us. I remember I always had those "feelings" when I was growing up of being a lesbian. In my mind I said "it was ok to do that" and that I wouldn't get hurt or be hurt emotionally, mentally or even spiritually. I wish at that time that someone told me that it was WRONG to do.
What happened was that I was being sexually, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically abused by my grandpa and by my "best" friend and her brother. All this started at age 4 or maybe earlier, I am not sure. My grandpa started it and I still told myself "hey he loves me" and that it was ok to let him do the things he did to me. Little did I know that letting "him" touch me and things would destroy my childhood and that it would change my life for good.As the abuse got worse, her and her brother did things much worse to me. I couldn't even tell anybody what was going on. I was too ASHAMED and felt that it was my fault.
This is when those feelings started when "her" would do things to me, they made those feelings more alive. I felt safe with her and in doing it with her... I never had the pain as I did when my grandpa and her brother hurt me. As a result of this abuse, I got into different SA problems.
As I got older, I never dated during high school because I was so afraid that those "feelings" would come out. So I kept to myself. These feelings got much stronger and I had two relationships growing up. These relationships I was into, got me very confused and angry at myself but at God as well. I didn't know what to do and since I didn't know what to do for sure, I would drink wine and would smoke to cover up the pain of being rejected and feeling unloved and neglected. I told myself 'hey it's ok to do this'. I wasn't hurting anyone or even myself. At the time I most certainly did not like myself at all.
I didn't know it at the time it was called "sin' and I was so angry at God for letting this happen to me. I didn't think God was even there with me at the time and that he just left me to do what I wanted to.
I have struggled with this 'feeling' for over 35 yrs and have acted on them occasionally. I met my hubby in 1970 and got married in 1977. And yes we are still together. For a very long time my husband never knew until recently. He has helped me so much in dealing with all of this.
Then in 1980 I accepted Christ as Savior at the church where I still go today. I really thought that once I was saved and even married, that those "feelings", thoughts, and desires would just go away and never bother me again. I just thought I wouldn't have this type of problem. BOY, was I wrong. Those feelings or thoughts or desires, HAD taken over my every thought life and there was no room for GOD in there.
I didn't think that God really cared for me to let me go through all this abuse thinking it was alright. All my life, I felt like I was not worth anything, that I didn't have anything useful to say and even if I did say it, that no one would like my ideas. I had no self-confidence.
I didn't feel like people wanted to have me around. I had friends, but no "best friend" to share all my secrets with. I was afraid of rejection. My way of dealing with things I did not want to deal with was to stuff them inside a box, in which I kept locked inside of me. I would give it over to the LORD, and then stuff it in the box again. Sometimes I would take it back out again and try to deal with it, but it made a bigger mess of it and stuffed it back again inside the box.
I have learned that GOD is truly working in my heart today to be truly and totally free from these desires or feelings. I ask GOD to help me be free in HIM and I know that HE is truly working in my heart because I DON'T have THOSE DESIRES anymore to do this or think this way. PRAISE GOD for HIS UNFAILING LOVE FOR ME!!! He is truly changing my heart to be clean and free. AMEN!!
Of course that doesn't mean we won't fall now and then, I am only human you know. I am trying to keep focus on GOD and not let Satan feed me his lies.
Two verses helped me see this: In EPHESIANS 2:8 & 9 it says, "For it is by grace you have been saved through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of GOD, not by works, so that no one can boast." (NIV).
The second verse is PSALMS 73:28 and it says, "As for me it is good to draw near to God, I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge, I will tell of your deeds." (NIV)
The Lord can deliver you from all kinds of situations, whether it would be drinking, smoking, abuse, etc. You can have peace in your heart if you only accept Christ as your Savior.
Don't give up, just give it to him. My prayer is that this page has brought some hope to you and maybe you feel that with GOD anything is possible.
My name is Missy. I became saved in late 1999. I was raised Catholic and always knew that Jesus was God's Son and that He died for my sins. But I never truly understood the full implications of it. My parents were twice a year Catholics (go to church only on Easter and Christmas Eve) while I was young but as I grew up, that didn't even happen.
My father was an abusive alcoholic. My mother was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive to me. I was never good enough, pretty enough or smart enough for anything.
My teenage years were filled with drug use,
alcohol use, and promiscuity. I ran away when I was 16 and was put into a foster
home because I couldn't handle the abuse in my home any more. My behavior became
worse. I know now the Lord was watching over me because I never got pregnant,
never caught any disease and was never in trouble with the police. I was kicked
out of my foster home and moved back with my parents because I had no choice.